Isn’t it amazing when we find out or figure out that the things that God had planned for us come out of our struggle or pain? We often wonder ‘what the heck did I do to go through all that? For what purpose? Why did I have to struggle so much? Why did I have to lose so much? Why did it take so long?’ I speak for myself here, but I wonder is there anyone else who has asked those same questions?
I have now come to a place of praising God every day, and I mean it. We learn in our faith walk to praise Him and in our hearts we do, we want to. But to be honest, I had a real struggle. I wasn’t so happy with my life. I tried to be a good sport about it. I tried to have a good attitude and not complain, at least not so much. I tried to see the positive in all things. But it was hard. None of my life was making any sense. I couldn’t see how I was going to get out of the situation I was in, and it would take a lot. I stayed faithful. I prayed all the time. I was careful with my behavior. I was studying his word and speaking his words, etc. I tried to listen to what I believed he was telling me to do. I tried to be obedient to the best of my ability. I wanted the promises he gave me. This went on for years. Then finally, FINALLY I surrendered.
What’s funny is I thought I already did surrender some years back. Well, for the most part, I did, but I was still trying to run the show. God gave me a plan and I ran with it. Didn’t really enquire how- I just did what I thought I should do. As you can imagine, I kept running up again a wall. A dead end. I was confused. What now? What the heck did I do wrong, now? I had nothing left. Then the Lord told me he had lots of things he wanted to do for me and with me but I had too much of me in the way. Wow! That was a shock. I was done. So we started at square one.
I asked what did he want me to do. Well, a few days later he gave me a dream. In the dream, I saw me writing and speaking with a microphone. Exactly what I thought in the first place. I was just trying to do it my way and not his. I decided to let him lead. I went back to the starting point and began small. As it turns out, that’s all I could handle.
God is so good. I am now teaching my first course from my books he had me write, which went nowhere, but… it was for this very purpose. I have texts to teach from, which happen to be from my journey in my change.
Every day when I make a new video or write the blog or whatever the job calls for, I am so grateful because it’s more than I ever thought possible for me. I didn’t think He would do this for me. But he is doing this all through me as I surrender and let him have his way. I LOVE IT! It’s not perfect, I’m still learning as I go along. I’m not getting paid, but I love what I’m doing. I have so much I want to share and he has given me a platform to do it. Every day I am in awe of this work. It is simple for many, but for me, nothing like this has ever come my way. I wasn’t prepared, for one thing. And my spirit wasn’t right. God had to change me.
I have a youtube channel. I have a facebook page. I have a website that has my workshop to help women take the steps to change and become the women God wants them to be. I have the Holy Spirit to guide me every step of the way. God has taken all my mess and using it for his purpose. I love every minute of it. Most days I am exhausted, but oh so grateful.