Goodbye, Dear Friend
It was bound to happen. I knew one day I was going to have to say goodbye to my trusted, green friend. My little green Kia. She was already a bit old when I bought her, but I bought her anyway. Like picking out the runt of the litter, I chose her.
I sold my beautiful car I had before her right after my divorce. I was angry, bitter, lost and I wanted a car that separated me from the past. Well, that is what I got in my new little Kia.
This little car has seen me through years of trials. Struggles, deep snow, thunder and rain so thick I had to pull over to let it subside before I resumed driving.
I had several trips moving my baggage and boxes of my belongings from one place to another. It went from home to couch, to couch, to couch, to home to room, to storage, to room to room to room. With heavy loads and her poor little tires, she has done the miles.
Poor baby has survived several electrical cardioversion, (battery jumps), and a few heart transplants, (new batteries). She has stayed true and stayed with me throughout my years of inconsistency while I was growing into a new person. It’s like she has unconditional faith in me and where I was going. While my whole life was all over the place, not knowing from one day to the next, she stayed true. She was always there. I could look outside my bedroom window and there she was. She was ready to go wherever I had to go.
There were times when I would say to her, “come on baby girl. Let’s make this trip one more time. You can do it.” And she always did.
One day she wasn’t doing so well. Sputtering up the hill. Shaking as I turned a corner. Crying from the inside and spilled over underneath her chest.
The coolant was leaking. There was an odor coming from the dash. Something was very wrong. She had had issues before and I was always able to get her fixed. This went on for years. She always managed to come back to life and we’d be off and running again. This time was different. I knew she wasn’t able to take on another long trip. I knew that a 7-mile trip was becoming too much for her. I knew it was time for a check up.
I suspected some bad news, but I was not ready for this.
I took her in to see the best mechanic in town. They have always been honest and fair with me and I knew this time wouldn’t be any different. It would take a few days before they could get to her. “Fine,” I said. “Take your time.”
I got the phone call. He told me her condition. Then he told me the cost. I knew how much she was worth and I knew that the fee to fix her was way over her dollar value.
There was nothing I could do. I knew she only had a few years left. I knew one day this would come. Truth is, I wanted to give her away to someone in need at the right time. But now, in her condition, that was out of the question. It wouldn’t have changed the cost to get her fixed.
I don’t know what I’m going to do with her, yet, but when I do I know it will be the right choice.
This was a lesson in growth. My baby girl and I had to say goodbye at the end of this season of my life. We came together at the start of my journey of change. The struggles, trials, confusion, and pain. I have survived and now going to a new level and that requires letting go of the past. Saying goodbye to what was my best buddy, who was with me all the way is sad but also exciting. I don’t know what new thing God has for me. I just know I had to let go and release the past and prepare for what’s coming.
Goodbye, dear Friend.
In the hands of the Potter
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation: the old is gone, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5;17
Isn’t that exciting? I think it is. If you are like me and have made mistakes in any area and looking for a do-over, well, putting your life in Jesus’ hands is the best start for change. We are re-created. New. Old junk is gone and we are forgiven!
For me, it was shedding off the old, negative, awful attitudes that hurt so many people in my life. Guilt, shame, self-condemnation I held inside thinking it was over for me. I lost my confidence. I lost most everything. But I tried to hide it. I tried to put on the face of strength. That doesn’t work because it comes back to you. Once I truly surrendered, the work began.
It wasn’t an easy road. It took me a long time to develop the bad stuff, so I had to realize it would take a long time to become a new person. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what was going on at the time. I had no idea all the problems I had. Nor did I know what I had caused. All I knew was that my life, as I controlled it was falling apart and I had no idea how to make it better. It all seemed hopeless.
But, Jesus saw me and had mercy on me. I got my second chance. I am a new creation. It shows in almost every area of me. Me. After the changes in me, other parts of my life began to change. I carry myself better, I’m confident in ways I’ve never been before. My interests have changed and what God has given me is far greater than anything I could have imagined. That old person, I was, is nowhere to be found.
It can happen for anyone. You may feel like you only want to change a few things, or maybe you don’t think you need to, at all. But what if you were given an opportunity to become better. Different. What if you were given a second chance, wouldn’t that be great? You can’t go backward. You can’t change the past, but you can do something right now and make your tomorrows better. The decisions you make today will affect your future. Do you want things to stay the same? If you are unhappy, disgusted with your life and not looking forward to the future, looking at it from today, why not trust Jesus to make those changes in you? Let him adjust your position, give you new insight, direction, learn to trust his will for our life. I mean, who knows you better than He, the maker of you? He’s the Potter and you are that lump of clay on the wheel waiting for you to say, “yes.” He wants to create something wonderful out of your life, a new life.
Isn’t all that bitterness and frustration of doing it alone weighing you down? Stop comparing your life to someone who isn’t in your shoes. You are not less than anyone else. You are not an accident. You matter. You are here for reason. So you made some big mistakes. We all do. We can’t go on living with regrets and expect things to get better. Surrender. That is what needs to happen. We need to surrender to the one who knows and will give us new life. That’s how it works.
Put your self in his hands and let him change you. If you are completely satisfied with your life right now and have it all figured out, cool. God Bless you. But for the rest of us who want change for the better and desire a second chance, we say, “YES!”
A Story for Right Now~
I’ve been waiting for a long time. My life has been on hold or better yet, on Pause. I have not just sat back and done nothing during this time. God changed me from the inside out. I’ve said it over and over again that I am not the same person I was before. I am a new creation and I feel it.
My story is like many others and yet it’s so different. It’s layered as with most people, the story is usually a lot more than people realize. Sharing your story can be scary. You are putting yourself out there and you don’t know how it will be received. People always have an opinion about how you did this or that while having no real idea what you went through. They have an idea based on what you have allowed for them to see or hear. But they don’t know the full story of why or how you got to where you are in your life.
That’s me. I want to share my full story. To be that vulnerable and open to other’s opinions that have no idea what it’s like to have been in my shoes and journey, causes me to pause. I skirted around it as much as I could and, I haven’t been in a position to be so forthcoming. Not yet. So that has made it difficult to share. I talk a lot about what I have learned and the growth of my faith from a point of near zero. There is much to teach and pass on. But to share my whole story is still not the time. It started off as quite a challenge to come up with topics to write about or do a video, but over time it got easier. The Lord has shown me the lesson in some areas that I can share and help others. That’s why in my post they may come off as somewhat harsh, it’s because it’s no joke. I want to help others fix their life before it gets as bad as mine did. Don’t wallow in mistakes or bad, selfish and negative attitudes.
I wrote a book about some of my lessons and I followed it with a workbook. It’s to help people work out their issues through simple, thought-provoking questions. There’s nothing hard in any of it so it’s easy to dive in and be honest with yourself. The more honest you are, with the help of the Holy Spirit. the better and faster the change in you will be.
Our lives are not in black and white, neither is our story. It changes, shifts and twists throughout our life. My story of change is a perfect example. I didn’t know the layers and depths until I had been on the journey for some time.
I can talk about:
Fear, abandonment, selfishness, stubbornness, daddy issues, age, fashion, skin care, makeup, weight gain and weight loss. I can talk about family, marriage, divorce, standing for marriage, giving up, low self-esteem, self-care, faith, Jesus, the fruits of the Holy Spirit, coaching, teaching, and the list continues.
So in these topics, I work. I do my best to give what I have of myself if it will help others. I’m not where I want to be, yet. Some days are harder than others but I keep going. It’s not for me, it’s for others.
I know when we go through life challenges and we make it through, it’s not for us to keep to our self. It’s for us to give away to help others in need. Otherwise, I’d keep all the details to myself. I’ve had many people help me through my stuff. Whether from their books, listening to their story or a few who I have had the pleasure of talking to in person. It all helps. I know I have a lot more to say and share through video or blog and in a teaching, classroom environment, or on stage. I am giving it as it comes. I am following the Lord’s lead as I bring these stories and topics to light.
We need to be shaken out of the rut we have created. We think we are not doing anything to cause our own misery or unhappiness and blame others. We look outside our self when she should look within.
It’s not the same for everyone, but it is for more than you think. I know. So that is the place I am coming from. God is good. It took me a long time to know him like I do and I think I can help others. I do. It’s what I’m here for, what I’m called to do. And I have come to realize everything I have gone through has led me to here, right now.
Something Good For My Gut
In the process of getting myself together, this new year and all, I decided to start drinking bone broth. Have you heard of it? I hadn’t. It was new to me, but I came across this article when looking for natural ways to heal my stomach pain. I didn’t want to be stuck taking pills the rest of my life so I started looking around. I asked a good friend of mine about what to do since she has had stomach issues herself in the past. I knew she could direct me in the right direction. I was right.
She told me about inflammation and what causes that. I have a history of eating poorly from years ago and it caught up with me. I don’t know about you but when I was younger I could eat whatever I wanted. There were not any consequences, or so I thought. Over the last 10 years, my poor eating habits have shown the consequences of my choices. The research and knowledge weren’t as available as it is now. But, now that it is, I am reading everything I can to heal myself.
One of the many things I had to change was letting go of coffee. Man! That was hard. It took three days to get rid of the caffeine headache withdrawal. But, as much as I love coffee, it was doing serious damage to my joints. My back was always hurting and I never could figure out why.
But the thing that seemed to make a significant difference was bone broth. I had already stopped eating dairy, sugar, and gluten. I never thought I’d be a person who had to have such a strict way of eating, but as it turned out, it’s exactly what I had to do.
I researched bone broth. I found out it is great for more than just digestion. It’s also great for treating leaky gut syndrome, overcome food intolerance and allergies, boost your immune system, reduce cellulite and the big winner for me is-Improved joint health!
Yes. I found out that I had arthritis. As I mentioned earlier, I had joint pain and coffee made my pain worse and the bone broth would help my joints. I tried some from the local grocery store, which was fine, but I needed a lot. It would be costly to keep going that route. So, I looked up how to make it. It wasn’t hard, just several steps in the process. It takes about 24 hours to make chicken bone broth and 48 hours for beef. I have to say, it turned out good. It’s not something you’d say, oh yum! No. But considering what it is and what it’s for, I was pleased. And, it tasted like the pre-made only fresher. I made enough for 4 days and had back up I put in mason jars, which is recommended.
It has helped my stomach. My gut feels better and digestion has improved. I’m waiting for all the other benefits to kick in. It takes time but since I have to drink it on the regular, I figure I’ll see them soon. The first benefit after a few days was a flatter tummy. I love that! Especially since it’s my birthday in a few days and I’m going out. Yay! Next, I hope to see a difference in my skin. Overall I am happy with this new gem.
If you want more information on gut health and all the benefits of bone broth, I recommend articles by Dr. Axe. He has a lot of information on YouTube, and plenty of other resources on his website. www.draxe.com