What has happened to the family? What has happened to the importance of a good, solid family?
This is sort of off the norm of what I usually write about but today I thought it was important to bring up.
My family is going through some major breakdown. We used to be so close and now we are falling apart. The fighting has escalated to an all-time high. The strife and disrespect have taken on a life of its own. Trying to pull everyone together to try to bring some peace and forgiveness is not even an option, so what do I do?
I have been praying for my family through one thing after another. It started when my kids were very young. They’re all grown up now but it doesn’t stop me from praying for them. It’s just another level of how I do it and what I say.
I come from a large family of several aunts and uncles, 5 siblings with their kids and grand-kids, several cousins and their kids, second cousins+, nieces, a few nephews and four sons and a grandson. Everyone is within 1 1/2 hour drive, texts all day and some phone calls. Most weekends it’s a normal thing to find someone in the family having some kind of get together. If not planned, impromptu is just fine. We have had many years of having our kids get together to keep up the tradition of making family a priority. A friend who once told me that I didn’t need friends because I had my large family. Although having friends was great, she was right. I did have this awesome family I did everything with. My core best friends were my sister, my cousin and my niece. My brother had my sons to hang with him and the younger kids/cousins hung out together. It was great.
I wanted to keep this positive family dynamic going, but we got hit with tragedy, death, and divorce. Too much of it in a short period of time. It reared its destructive, ugly head in many areas of the lives of our family. It became too much to bear in some and that caused a ripple effect of a downward spiral. For some, it was worse than others. For others it was a journey to becoming a better person. And others, it’s ongoing.
What’s happened in my family recently has cause more problems.
Now I understand that as our kids get older they will pull away and want to have their own life and associate with whomever they please. If they choose not to be around the family, that’s their choice. I get that. But when the reason for staying away is because you’re mad at someone, you can’t speak to this one or that one for whatever reason… that is a problem. You don’t realize that it hurts others in your family. It will cause some to take sides when sides shouldn’t be in the picture. Something needs to be done. But you seem to be the only one who cares. What do you do?
For me, I was broken. This had never happened in all my years in my large family. There have been problems, but nothing like this. I prayed and prayed and prayed for years. But instead of things getting better, they got worse.
This morning I found myself angry, wondering where is God? I wondered what happened with all those prayers I had already prayed over the years? Didn’t that mean anything? Did they only hit the ceiling and disappear from there? I began to call God on his own word. He said family is the most important thing. Marriage and family. He created it. It’s our foundation, our strength. What was happening to my family?
Then I realized it wasn’t God. This was the work of the enemy, Satan who hates anything good and family is a very good thing. He has an all-out war against the family, mine and yours. God is for us. He is doing things behind the scenes to heal everyone in my family. There has been so much pain that it will take the hand of almighty God the heal and restore us all.
I was called to stand for my family and I have been in this battle for years. On the outside, it doesn’t seem like anything is happening but I know it is. I trust the Lord is working on my behalf and on behalf of my family. There are a lot of us and a lot needs to be done. It’s not an easy fix.
As I write this it is becoming clear what the Lord is doing. He has things under control. I may get angry over what’s going on and that’s fine. But I mustn’t stay there. I need to give it to the Lord and let him deal with all the parties involved.
Yes, I wanted to throw in the towel because it’s heartbreaking to see my family coming apart when I see the greatness in each one of them. I want to fix it, but it’s way over my abilities to fix this mess. Only Jesus can.
The bible says when we go through hard times, we need to know we are not alone. There are many others who are going through the same thing and we must encourage one another to keep praying, keep standing, keep believing even when there seems nothing is happening. Trust God. Give it to him. He will make all things work together for those who believe in Him.
Ask yourself- if not you then who will pray for your family? Who can love them and want the best for all of them more than you? Only God. So don’t give up on them. Don’t lose the hope you have for them. If you can see it, He can do it and do it better than you can imagine.
Don’t give up.